Privileged to serve: a conversation on training and equity

Posted June 29, 2021 by Doug Wilhelm

We’re pleased to share this conversation with Kim Frierson, DSW, CYC-P, who recently joined the Youth Catalytics team as a training and evaluation specialist. As a certified Child and Youth Care practitioner with over 15 years’ experience, Dr. Frierson delivers trainings across the U.S. on a range of topics; among her primary areas of interest are diversity, equity and inclusion and anti-oppressive practices, along with self care and community care.

What drew you into this field? Did you have a role model, or a main influencer?

I guess my first role model was my mom. She was a social worker — she worked for the state, in a foster care unit, and when I was little I went everywhere with her. Just going to events for foster kids, being there with everyone else. She was really passionate about foster youth, and about getting young people and kids to where they could have a forever home. I remember that idea of being of service, being of help, trying to be in community with people. I think she instilled those in me really early.

Are there lessons you learned from your mom that you try to impart to others?

What I remember is just how everyone who worked with her felt about her. Everyone would say, “Your mom is great — she's great to work for, she's great to work with.” It always stood out to me that whether she was in a leadership role or just doing the work, everyone around her valued her, respected what she brought, and felt like they could trust her. Her ultimate goal was to make things better. That is an example that she set.

You have shared with us that your passion lies in “helping the helpers.” Can you talk about that?

First of all, people in the helping professions are for the most part underpaid, and have a genuine concern to help and make things better in their community, with kids or whoever they're serving. They’re often being asked to do a lot of different things. Those jobs are very stressful, and there's not a lot of support. I'm always wanting to expand the idea of support — to not just money but being able to take care of yourself, take care of your family, feel like you are in a position where your feedback is valued, and people truly understand what goes into doing this work. I don't think a whole lot of people do, unless you've done the work.

“My big passion for helping helpers is that without them, none of the work we want to do happens.”

There are some people who have been doing direct service for 20 or 30 years, seeing how families or communities transform or change, seeing their needs every single day — and a lot of times those people don't get the opportunity to influence how things go, where the money is spent, how programs are formed or how they're evaluated. My big passion for helping helpers is that without them, none of the work we want to do happens.

I experienced this when I worked at a runaway and homeless youth shelter in Louisville. When a young person walks in, if the first face they see is someone they know they can trust and feel safe with, that makes the entire difference. There have been kids who walked in, saw who was working, and walked straight back out. So it cannot be undersold, the importance of the work these people are doing.

One of the things that I really emphasize when I do anti-oppressive work, anti-racism, diversity and equity inclusion work, is that you have to value all kinds of work. American culture is really white-dominant, and it usually values what is considered masculine work. Taking care of others, being in community, is not usually considered “masculine work,” even though men do it and they can do it very well. We value the people who are high-powered, who make a lot of money, who make a lot of products. But what really actually forwards our community are those caring things — the nurturing, service, community-oriented things that make other people feel safe and valued and important.

“One of the things that I really emphasize when I do anti-oppressive work, anti-racism work, diversity and equity inclusion work, is that you have to value all kinds of work.”

This is work that people are doing day in and day out, and those are relationships people have been fostering for years. The hope is to give them some support — to help them find avenues to advocate and have their voice heard in all levels of the work we do, so that our programs are actually meeting needs of the people we are privileged to serve, not just maintaining the inequities that are already there. That's not what we're here for. When there are injustices in the system, we have to challenge that. So I want to support people to do that work all the time, because it's really hard, and it has a lot of costs and not a lot of benefits. I'm always on the side of helping helpers.

How important is equity in the youth service field?

I think equity is super-important — but some people are kind of burned out on talking about equity, and decidedly so. When organizations, departments and universities say, “We're going to be anti-oppressive, or we're going to be anti-racist,” but you don't give anybody any support in how to do that, it turns them off.

“People have to understand that equity is a long process. And it is a process — it’s constant work.”

One thing that is happening now is that there are a lot of mandates from people about how we want to run our organizations, what we want to do. That has to come from the top down, because probably there are people on the bottom who've been trying to do that work for years and haven't had support. Support means not only funding but support in new teaching methods, and “How are you going to help me learn new technology,” and “Where is the content I can use if I want to be diverse and not only focus on either western or northern European thinking?” A lot of times that's not people's area of expertise. It takes work, it has to be supported, and it has to be safe.

People have to understand that equity is a long process. And it is a process — it's constant work. On some level you need a cheerleader, somebody who's really invested in it; and it can't be a thing where somebody who already has a full-time job is now the director of equity and inclusion. It has to be someone senior-level, but not someone who already has a thousand things to do. If you're going to be serious about doing and valuing that work, sometimes it starts with, “What is the work?” Talking in organizations and groups about, “What are the things we're trying to accomplish? What are we doing well right now, what are we not? Where are our blind spots?” Start from there.

People usually like to skip to the tip sheet. “Tell me what I need to do, so I can do this. Just show me what it is” — and it's so much more than that. It is an investment, and it can't be something that seems punitive. People need to understand why you're doing it, how it helps everybody; and that comes from the top, about the expectations and the culture and the climate.

One webinar, one training, is not going to cut it. It is systems change. It’s in every staff meeting, it's incorporated into your supervision, it's part of your evaluation, and there's funding to expand our understanding of it.

If you really are going to be anti-oppressive or anti-racist, you've got to look at where your money is coming from. Federal funds generally, unless they're purely research-based, maintain a system that creates inequity. So you've got to really think about that — especially C-level and exec people. Systems are really hard to change on purpose.

If you really are invested in creating an equitable workforce environment, and really supporting and being collaborative with coworkers, clients, consumers and the community, then you've got to do this work — being frank, and trying to get as much buy-in as you can. Diversity, equity, inclusion require engagement. But if we're really working toward a just world, there's opportunity for everybody.

So what are the next steps, in continuing the work on racial justice and anti-oppressive practices?

The first thing is not giving up. Really understanding what is needed, and just being open and listening. Our culture focuses on individuals; it tells us we have a right to be comforted all the time, and it tells us that confrontation is wrong. Those are things that I think really get in the way of people having breakthroughs, having safe conversations.

I'll be honest — I'm tired of watching news about black trauma, about trauma of people of color. I'm more apt to watch things that are about joy, and people just living regular lives. When people are wanting to know about your experience, sometimes it gets weighed down in the negative. But there are a lot of great things! About life, about living, about family, about the work, creating community — it can be really great. My hope is that people are recognized in different ways, and we can have conversations about, “This makes me really uncomfortable, or I can't talk about this right now.” It's not, “Are you sure you're not being sensitive about this?” It’s that people's understanding of their own experience is valued.  Sometimes that means we'll have conversations that are uncomfortable.

“When I do training, I’ll say, ‘I’m going to guarantee your safety, but I can’t guarantee your comfort.’”

I'm a social worker, and people who do service work try as hard as we can not to hurt other people's feelings. But a lot of times when I do training, I'll say, “I'm going to guarantee your safety, but I can't guarantee your comfort. And even if you're uncomfortable, that's okay; that's fine. We just need to make sure you're safe.” Sometimes I'll put up the calm.com app, that'll take you to a website that will help you take a deep breath. Whatever your regulation techniques are, just remember them and have them handy.

This isn't just something that only happens with white-bodied people. All of us need to be able to have conversations where we can be uncomfortable, and people can have a different perspective than us and that's fine. If we can value every person's way, because they experienced it just as we experienced ours, then hopefully we'll be able to get to a point. But that means a lot of training; it means not ostracizing people when they make mistakes. It means creating a safe environment so when people do make mistakes, they can learn. If people do harm when making mistakes, we always address the harm — because people of color and people in oppressed communities have been harmed over and over. We address that first, then address the potential learning. We need to be in the business of trying to do those things.

I'm hoping that because of the community trauma that we've all gone through in the last year and a half, people can start to think differently about how we interact with each other, and about how systems sometime separate us and create barriers for people. Again, I think the biggest thing is just not giving up, and continuing to find ways to create community with people. And then taking care of yourself, whatever that means to you.

Join Kim and Cindy Carraway-Wilson this fall for more DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) learning opportunities — dates to be announced.